Case 003: Vending Machines — Portals to the Snack Dimension

TOP SECRET

SUBJECT: Anomalous Retail Dispensing Unit, Level 3

The unit accepts currency and, on approximately 12% of transactions, dispenses nothing. Maintenance logs describe this as "mechanical failure." We describe it as an import tariff.

A faint hum persists even when unplugged. Acoustic analysis by a guy we know suggests it matches no known refrigeration compressor. It matches, instead, the sound of a door deciding whether to open.

On three occasions, the machine has dispensed a snack nobody selected, still warm, in packaging not sold in this country. We are choosing to see this as a goodwill gesture from whoever, or whatever, is on the other side of the coin slot.