Case 004: Dinosaurs Still Exist... As Guinea Pigs
TOP SECRET
SUBJECT: Undisclosed Miniaturization Program, Cavia Division
Contrary to the "extinction" narrative pushed by mainstream paleontology, dinosaurs never left. They were quietly downsized, over several geological committees, into an animal small enough to sell at a pet shop for twelve dollars.
Note the dorsal ridge pattern preserved across the miniaturization. Note also the complete refusal to blink for long periods, the sudden vertical hopping episodes zoologists call "popcorning," and the flat, ancient stare of something that remembers being large.
They are calm now. They are patient now. This will not last forever. Dinosaurs still exist, they are guinea pigs, and they will eat you one day.