Senior lecturer and author of a Unified Theory of Ambient Pretence, applying formal acoustic modelling to confirm that people already know the library is quiet and the restroom is not.
- Affiliation
- Slop University Department of Applied Incivility, cross-appointed with the Centre for Ambient Ethics
- h.tanaka@slop.university
- Contact
- Email for anything acoustic; he genuinely prefers this to a phone call.
Dr. Tanaka read Architecture at the University of Tokyo before a PhD in Building Acoustics at the National University of Singapore redirected him from measuring how sound decays across a floor plate to what he now markets, in successive funding rounds, as the Unified Theory of Ambient Pretence — the proposition that the library and the public restroom are “formally equivalent acoustic regimes,” a claim he has yet to publish anywhere the wider acoustics field would recognise.
He is cross-appointed with Slop University’s Centre for Ambient Ethics, where he delivered a widely-unattended keynote titled “Nobody Can Hear You, and Everybody Knows It,” and where he continues to lobby, at every faculty meeting, for the restroom paper to be recognised as the more theoretically significant of his two case studies — a position no one has yet found it worthwhile to contest.