Week 8: Warm-Intro Requests#
A cold ask risks the reader’s ten minutes. A warm-intro request risks someone else’s relationship entirely.
What this lecture covers#
- why a cold ask and an intro request are different genres
- the connector’s risk most writers never mention
- a composite intro request and what it’s missing
- what the request actually needs to include
Two different requests#
Asking a stranger for their time costs the reader their own time.
Asking a connection to introduce you spends the connector’s credibility with the person they’re introducing you to. Most writers never mention that cost, let alone address it.
Naming the connector’s risk is the fix, not softer wording.
The failure#
Writing both the same way: “would you be open to connecting me with X,” sent with the same effort as a cold email.
This treats the connector’s risk as if it weren’t there.
Predict, then watch#
Before the next slide: predict what a generic intro request will fail to mention. Then check it against what’s missing.
From: [Sender]
To: [Connector]
Subject: Would you mind an intro?
Would you be open to connecting me with [Name]? I think what I’m working on could be really relevant to them.
Addressed to the connector. Reads identically to a cold email addressed to the stranger. No mention of what the connector would say on the sender’s behalf. No easy way to decline.
What the request actually needs#
- what you’ll say to the third party
- why this specific introduction makes sense
- an easy way for the connector to say no without it being awkward
Better version, same ask#
Draft the actual introduction sentence for the connector to copy and paste. Offer an explicit out: “no worries at all if this isn’t a fit to pass on.”
From: [Sender]
To: [Connector]
Subject: An intro, only if it’s an easy yes
Would you mind forwarding this line to [Name], if it feels right to you: “[Sender] is working on [specific thing] and asked me to put you two in touch, thought it might be relevant given [specific reason].” No worries at all if it’s not a fit to pass on.
The connector now has to do almost nothing but forward, and has an easy way out that doesn’t require explaining why they declined.
Talk to your neighbour#
Take an intro request you’ve sent or received. Was the actual forwardable sentence drafted for the connector, or left for them to write? Discuss.
Recap#
- a warm intro spends the connector’s relationship, not just their time
- most intro requests never mention that cost
- naming it, and drafting the intro for them, is the whole fix